Beads of Courage

I have an AMAZING friend that made this box for me.

At first I didn't know what it was, but when she explained what it was, I was in tears! This is Jake's beads of courage box:

This is the inside. Each of these beads represents something that happened while Jake was in the hospital. I know there was a million things going on while he was in the hospital, because it always seemed busy. It is a little daunting to see each of these beads, but then when you see the numbers written down, it is CRAZY!! Here is what each one represents!

Black= IV Pokes (7)
Orange= Central/PICC lines (4)
Purple= Infusions (11)
Aqua= Tubes -NG, Chest tubes, Foley (7)
Red=Transfusions (59)
Green= Procedures (45)
CXR 22
Ultrasounds 14
Echo 6
CT Scans 2
Catheterization 1
Silver= Dressing changes (15)
Sun/Moons=Days/Nights in hospital (19)
Multicolored= Days on TPN (19)
Double Figure Eight= Days on ECMO (6)
Blue=Surgeries (5)
Butterfly-He passed away

The red ones were the hardest to look at. Look at all that blood! My poor baby!

Look how long it is too!! Wow! What an amazing perspective of his Life's short journey!!

THANK YOU to my special friend that made this for us. I LOVE it!!

Grandpa's fishing Tournament

This last weekend was Grandpa Palmer's (My dad) Annual Fishing Tournament. It was SO fun!! The kids all had a blast and they all caught multiple fish!! Maddie didn't want to leave the lake! It was so cute! I think after all the counts, there were over 80 fish caught and around 60 were kept to eat!! Who wants FISH!!

The Linford Family came up with us and had lots of fun catching fish! Way to go Linfords!!

Jace wasn't too sure of touching the fish! Haha!!

Shelley was pretty grossed out about the whole fish, gutting, pulling out the hooks, etc, and never wanted to touch one of the fish, but Jace's award winning fish fell and was making his way back in the water, so Shelley grabbed it up! What a great mom! You can tell how much she loves holding the fish! Haha!!

My mom was amazing at cleaning fish! She hasn't cleaned them since she was 12! I had to get this documented! Way to go Mom!! How many of your Mom's would do this??

Good Catch, Maddie!!

Way to Go Lexi!! (even though she wouldn't touch it, she loved reeling in the fish!

Here are all the kids waiting for the awards ceremony!

My Dad gives $25 for 1st place, a new fishing pole for 2nd place and a fishing bag for 3rd place all based on Age categories and boys or girls. All of the other kids get a dollar Store prize. The funniest part is that most of the big winners want to trade their $25 of cash in for the dollar prizes!

Lexi wasn't a big winner this year (last year she caught the biggest fish of all with the princess fishing pole!) but she was happy to get a toy!!

Maddie came in 2nd and got a new fishing pole! Yeah!!

Payton was so proud to win 1st place in his boys age division! He can hardly wait to spend his $25!!

Thanks for a great fishing tournament! See ya next year!!!

Jakey's Blankies!!

We had SO much fun making jakey's blankies!! It started 3 weeks ago when we cut the fabric-110 yards of it!! YIKES!! That was A LOT of minky!! We did it at Kelly's house and because minky was flying everywhere, we wore masks!! Don't we look GREAT!

May 7th we had the big pinning and sewing day at the church building! THANK YOU so much to everyone who was able to come and help! We had LOTS of fun and the blankets turned out GREAT!!

Here is the first boy blanket to be done! Thanks, Kim!!

Here is the first girl blankey done! Way to go, Mom!!

We got 80, yes 80 blankets completed and ready to be delivered! I'm so excited!! This isn't even all of them! Just some of them! They are all packed in boxes and wrapped in ribbon!! So fun!!

I will be delivering them next week. I can hardly wait. I'm sure Jake was so happy and I know he was there with us! Thank you again to ALL who have donated and who came to help. You can still purchase these adorable blankies as gifts if you go to Kelly's blog. Just e-mail her and she might give you a deal!

THANK YOU THANK YOU to all!! You are amazing friends to come and help me do this for my Jake! Thanks!!

Dear Jake

Dear Jake,

I was vacuuming a moment ago and looked up at the clock and saw that it was 3:55pm. All of a sudden I was taken back to 3 months ago, today. 3 months ago at this very moment Daddy and I had just been taken from the waiting room to a conference room where the surgeon came in and told us he had no idea where you were bleeding from, you had already received 3 transfusions and he had never seen so much blood coming out of such a small baby. He asked what our requests were and we told him we wanted them to stop. He said he felt that would be best, but wanted to make sure that was how we felt. He left the room and Daddy and I started crying. A moment later our favorite nurse, Nicole, came in and asked if we wanted to come in for the end of the surgery. We both did. We walked in and could see your chest open and inside was your tiny heart beating. We both got to see it. We loved seeing that. They finished closing your chest and the whole surgical staff was crying as they hugged us and walked out. They took out as many tubes and monitors as they could and then wrapped you in a soft blankie and we rocked you as your spirit went up to heaven. I have never felt the spirit so strong in one small place. I felt so much peace and I knew your time on earth was finished. But, we still cried.


I'm not going to tell you it has always been easy. I miss you like crazy. I miss not having you here at home and having to baby proof the house. I miss not being able to hold you or smell you or bathe you. I miss not having 2 car seats in the car. I just miss you. We pray for you every night, especially Payton. He prays that you can find those people who want to know about the church, and that you can get all the work accomplished that you are supposed to do. It is very sweet.


Jake, I'm so happy you are in our family. I'm so happy you stayed with us for 19 days. I'm so happy you are our baby and will be forever. I'm so happy you are up in heaven watching over us and helping us. Thank you for letting me be your mom. This mother's day is bittersweet. I know I'm your mommy, and will get to raise you, but I'm sad I don't have you here to hug and say thank you to you. You have helped me appreciate being a mommy more.


I love you, Jakey. Thank you for all of the blessing you have brought into our lives.


Love,

Mommy

Ballet with the girls!

We went to see the ballet "Coppelia" from Ballet Etudes! It was last minute, but SO FUN!! My sister, Julie, took her girls with us! We met at Red Robin for dinner (yes, we like that place!), then we went to the Mesa Arts Center for the performance. A bunch of my cousins and their girlies were there too! It was a great show and the girls loved it! Their favorite part was going up after the show to meet the dancers! Then they got to dance on the stage!

What a dream come true to dance on a real stage!!

Prom

My littlest sister is a senior this year and went to prom on Saturday. One of my friends that I met in Utah has a daughter that is a senior and wore a GORGEOUS dress to her junior prom. I knew my sister HAD to have that dress! Skylee was nice enough to loan her this beautiful dress, as well as 2 other gorgeous dresses!

This one is cotton candy pink with ruffles and sparkles!! PERFECT!!

I wish I was able to wear something this pretty for my prom!! My daughters (and even Payton) weren't able to take their eyes off of her!

Here she is with her fan club!

Here she is with Payton and Michael (My nephew)

Isn't this beautiful?? I LOVE it!!

People Are SO NICE!!

We live in a very pessimistic world. There are lots of people who are mean, vindictive and don't take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes it is HARD!! BUT, a couple of weeks ago I got the sweetest e-mail EVER!! A lady named Janae said that she was a Modbe consultant and had hosted an online party. The lady who hosted it ended up getting a bunch of free credits toward another Modbe purchase. She felt I deserved a swimsuit or something from Modbe more than her, so she was giving me her credits!! This gal is from back east and has never met me. She found my blog somehow and then gave me the credits!! Isn't that amazing!! I got this e-mail on a Monday morning and it MADE MY WEEK!! I couldn't believe that some stranger would do that for me!! The gal has a super FUNNY blog that I love to read and she also gives lots of freebies away too!! Thanks Jana!!

Well, I could never pass up a FREE swimsuit, so here is what I got!!

Of course, I don't look this good in it, but I still think it is ADORABLE! I can hardly wait to go swimming!! What a great thing, huh??

If you would like to purchase one of these super cute swimsuits go HERE. Janae is an amazing Modbe consultant and would love to help you out! Or, if you would like to host a party, contact Janae. I love these suits because they are modest but SO CUTE!!! You don't have to feel like a frumpy mom in a grandma swimsuit!! They also have cute, modest clothes too!!

People really have been SO nice to me, since Jake passed away. SO many poeple have donated to Jakey's blankies, lots have just sent sweet notes or cards or just called to say hi. It is amazing!! Most people really are good!! Remember that!! Since getting this special surprise, I have asked myself what I could do for a complete stranger that might make their day! Now, I know I don't have lots of money, but, I can make someones day!! Kind of a "Pay it forward" attitude!! So, I am going to try and make someones day, and I encourage you to do the same! It will make that person feel GREAT, and I promise you will feel great too!! By the way, it doesn't have to be a complete stranger, it can be anyone you know. Everyone deserves some kindness!! What are you going to do?? I hope you have a GREAT day!

Jakey's Blankies

THIS THURSDAY, May 7th from 10am-12pm and 7-9pm, we are pinning and sewing jakey's blankies!! If you would like to join us, please contact me edennison78@yahoo.com and I will give you details!! Please, no kiddos! You can still donate too!! check out my side bar with my donate button!! THANK YOU!!