My Dear Baby Jake,
Happy birthday to you!! I can't believe it has been a year. These past couple of weeks has made me remember what happened a year ago. January was a busy month with at LEAST 3 doctors visits a week, lots of scares, and finally you arrived!
I remember being induced in a TINY little room 
and they came in to give me my epidural, and as it started to take effect I began to cry because I knew that would be the end of OUR time together. I slowly stopped feeling you kick, and move so much. No one believed how much you moved, until they put a monitor on you and they couldn't keep you calmed down enough to get your "real" heart rate! I also cried because I knew that very shortly I couldn't keep you safe in my tummy. You would have to come out and fight for your life...and boy did you fight!! 
I remember feeling like you were ready to come out, and everyone told me to keep my legs closed so you wouldn't come out, and by the time I got into the delivery room/operating room you flipped sunny side up, and I had to push through about 6 contractions! (For all of you, I know that isn't much, but for my other kids, I could have coughed them out). You were born at 5:33pm. I remember you coming out and thinking you looked absolutely perfect, and then I heard your AMAZING little cry, and thought how NORMAL you seemed. They let me hold you for just a moment and I remember falling completely head over heels in LOVE with you! I have always loved my babies, but yours was instant! You were pink, perfect and crying! They took you to the side to clean you up a bit, then they let me
hold you for 1 more minute, then they whisked you away....to start your journey.As they whisked you out of the operating room and walked you down the hall to the NICU, all of my family was waiting for you to come down the hallway. The doctor said she felt like it was the papparazzi becuase there was 1 video camera and 3 cameras flashing!! Click here to see the video. (For some reason the sound didn't work on mine, but hopefully it will work for you.) That was your first introduction to your siblings, and boy were they PROUD! 
If you look carefully, Jake's eyes were open and he was looking at them! And yes, all of those nurses and doctors were there in the delivery room JUST FOR JAKE...and that was just the NICU staff!
If you look carefully, Jake's eyes were open and he was looking at them! And yes, all of those nurses and doctors were there in the delivery room JUST FOR JAKE...and that was just the NICU staff!I remember coming into the NICU 4 hours later, when they would finally let me go in, and crying for joy at how perfect you looked. 
No one would believe so much was wrong inside of you. You weighed in at 5lb 1oz and 17" long. Small and petite, just like we expected (even though you were only 1 1/2 weeks early).
No one would believe so much was wrong inside of you. You weighed in at 5lb 1oz and 17" long. Small and petite, just like we expected (even though you were only 1 1/2 weeks early). Jake, thank you so much for all of the precious moments we shared together while you were in my Tummy. I loved feeling every movement and kick. Most people had to drink OJ to get their babies to move, but you wiggled and kicked like CRAZY if I hadn't eaten soon enough. Those are memories I cherish.
Happy birthday, baby boy! That was one amazing day, and I LOVE all of the memories that came with it-they were all good memories! I am scared of what feelings I will have for the next 19 days. All of the details, memories, smells, thoughts, feelings, events....it was a lot in a short time. I am glad it started out really well. I know I will be praying quite a bit for strength. I know you will help me through it. I love you, Jakey!!
Love,
Mommy
Mommy
