I know I said I wasn't going to post everyday, but I got a copy of the Life Moments from my mother-in-law, Carlene. She did an amazing job and I love how eloquently she read it! Thank you, Carlene, I love how well you gave Jake's life moments!! Here it is!!
Baby Jake’s Life Moments
Feb. 12th, 2009
Baby Jake Dennison, your journey coming into this life was filled with awe and amazement, anticipation and excitement. And your brief but momentous journey through this life was also filled with awe and amazement coupled with struggle, pain, anguish and sorrow. But through it all, this valiant journey of yours, has left us with a profound sense of joy, appreciation and honor to have been be part of your life.
Jakey, you were never the ‘typical’, never ‘conventional’, never the ‘standard’. You, little Jake, were unique, special beyond all other criteria.
Your conception, and I’m not giving away any romantic secrets here, was the first miracle of this short journey. As Liz chronicles in her blog, you Jake were conceived after “two years of trying, seeing 3 different doctors, taking over 80 pills, enduring 16 shots, 21 ultrasounds, 1 miscarriage and 4 IUI procedures”. With all romance aside…..you were, at last, on your way to your new life and body.
The elation of your much-anticipated birth was overshadowed in the second trimester by the news that there may be a problem with your heart. Later tests proved that you were most likely a victim of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. With that news….we all waited for what would come next.
When the time came Jake, you apparently had plans to enter into this world with your two feet but the doctor outwitted you and turned you in the right direction days before your birth, saving your mom from a painful C-section. And so, Jake, on Jan. 21st at 5:33 p.m. in St. Joseph’s hospital, your arduous journey on this earth began. You came to greet a saintly mother, a proud father and 3 gleeful children, Maddie, Payton and Lexi who couldn’t wait to touch, rub, kiss, caress, hold, peek at, sing, dance around and coo to. Your perfect, unblemished spirit had arrived at long last in a body plagued with imperfections and therefore, shortly after birth there was more troubling news…..your heart would need immediate surgeries and your spine would also need repair at a later date. Within days, you were poked at, prodded, punctured and bandaged but no one lost hope, yet we were sadly aware of the struggles that awaited you.
On the fourth day, you were given a name and a blessing by the most cherished and choice men who were now part of your life; your father, your grandfather, your great grandfather and your bishop as well as the one ‘being’ who knew the outcome of this journey….your Heavenly Father.
It was on your 6th day of life when you were sent to have a seemingly simple CT scan but, upon returning to your room, your heart stopped sending a rush of nurses and Dr’s to your bedside to start your heart beating again. All while your parents stood helplessly by. Jakey, you could have easily said good-bye to us on that day, but you didn’t. Though clearly, we were not ready to lose you, it was you who had more to ‘give’ to us and so you lived on.
The next day was the 1st of your surgeries designed to begin the repair of your heart. You impressed the Dr’s and all those waiting to hear of your resilience and success. Jake, within the first short week, you are growing on all of us and the staff is singing your praises more and more each day. We all knew they liked you the best of all the children on that 7th floor. Now, you wear your first scar down your chest and though you are small, you seem mighty and valiant and braver than ever before.
Into week two and already you have won the hearts of many…such as the hundreds of readers who glean news from your mom’s blog and those that share your triumphs from afar along with staff members who are lucky enough to see you each time their shift allows them the opportunity to care for you. You have visitors that come daily just to see, touch and feel of your spirit. Your immediate circle of admirers grows each day as loved ones come to pay homage to your struggle.
But on day 13, a simple catheterization from your leg to your heart, that should have taken a few hours, develops into an 8 hr. ordeal that causes your heart to stop yet one more time. The sorrow was evident on the Dr’s face as he delivers the dreary news. Your weakened heart needed to rest and you were placed on an ECMO machine that would work your heart and lungs so you could begin to heal. And still more set backs when the artery in you leg, that was used for the catheterization was damaged, then your kidney failed but still Jake, you decided to stay with us. Selfishly, no one has uttered the desire to see you let go.
For the next 6 days, you were connected to a never-ending maze of tubes and machines that incessantly blinked their lights and made insidious noises. Every minute with you is precious and dear as it is evident by the myriad of people who just want to come to your side and touch, kiss, caress and rub any spot on your body void of a tube or IV.
What was it that made you stay little Jake? What was it about you that brought family and friends together to grasp the essence of God and angels that surrounded you? What triumphant little spirit did you possess that made nurses take on extra shifts to be at your side and made grown parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins hold you in such high esteem? You were courageous beyond measure, you were brave beyond what was expected. You were a warrior in a battle you need not have fought. We are all extremely grateful for this experience though it was at your expense.
And so it was, on your last day of this earthly journey, we reluctantly readied ourselves to allow you to go home, home to your grandfather and great grandparents who had made this journey before you, home to your cousins and siblings who have not yet left. Home. Baby Jake, as you began that last surgery to prepare your heart to reaccept what the machines had been doing for you, your parents were informed by a grieving surgical team, that your brave fight was nearly over. Your last minutes on earth were in the precious hold of your loving parents whispering their good-byes but also within the presence of those on the other side who accepted you as you embarked on your next journey where the love will be as great but the struggle will be no more.
Joyous, Happy Journey Jake. Thank you for the nineteen days that were sadly counted in hours instead of years but still left us with an eternity of love for one small boy who brought us closer to our own journey home. We love you.
Feb. 12th, 2009
Baby Jake Dennison, your journey coming into this life was filled with awe and amazement, anticipation and excitement. And your brief but momentous journey through this life was also filled with awe and amazement coupled with struggle, pain, anguish and sorrow. But through it all, this valiant journey of yours, has left us with a profound sense of joy, appreciation and honor to have been be part of your life.
Jakey, you were never the ‘typical’, never ‘conventional’, never the ‘standard’. You, little Jake, were unique, special beyond all other criteria.
Your conception, and I’m not giving away any romantic secrets here, was the first miracle of this short journey. As Liz chronicles in her blog, you Jake were conceived after “two years of trying, seeing 3 different doctors, taking over 80 pills, enduring 16 shots, 21 ultrasounds, 1 miscarriage and 4 IUI procedures”. With all romance aside…..you were, at last, on your way to your new life and body.
The elation of your much-anticipated birth was overshadowed in the second trimester by the news that there may be a problem with your heart. Later tests proved that you were most likely a victim of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. With that news….we all waited for what would come next.
When the time came Jake, you apparently had plans to enter into this world with your two feet but the doctor outwitted you and turned you in the right direction days before your birth, saving your mom from a painful C-section. And so, Jake, on Jan. 21st at 5:33 p.m. in St. Joseph’s hospital, your arduous journey on this earth began. You came to greet a saintly mother, a proud father and 3 gleeful children, Maddie, Payton and Lexi who couldn’t wait to touch, rub, kiss, caress, hold, peek at, sing, dance around and coo to. Your perfect, unblemished spirit had arrived at long last in a body plagued with imperfections and therefore, shortly after birth there was more troubling news…..your heart would need immediate surgeries and your spine would also need repair at a later date. Within days, you were poked at, prodded, punctured and bandaged but no one lost hope, yet we were sadly aware of the struggles that awaited you.
On the fourth day, you were given a name and a blessing by the most cherished and choice men who were now part of your life; your father, your grandfather, your great grandfather and your bishop as well as the one ‘being’ who knew the outcome of this journey….your Heavenly Father.
It was on your 6th day of life when you were sent to have a seemingly simple CT scan but, upon returning to your room, your heart stopped sending a rush of nurses and Dr’s to your bedside to start your heart beating again. All while your parents stood helplessly by. Jakey, you could have easily said good-bye to us on that day, but you didn’t. Though clearly, we were not ready to lose you, it was you who had more to ‘give’ to us and so you lived on.
The next day was the 1st of your surgeries designed to begin the repair of your heart. You impressed the Dr’s and all those waiting to hear of your resilience and success. Jake, within the first short week, you are growing on all of us and the staff is singing your praises more and more each day. We all knew they liked you the best of all the children on that 7th floor. Now, you wear your first scar down your chest and though you are small, you seem mighty and valiant and braver than ever before.
Into week two and already you have won the hearts of many…such as the hundreds of readers who glean news from your mom’s blog and those that share your triumphs from afar along with staff members who are lucky enough to see you each time their shift allows them the opportunity to care for you. You have visitors that come daily just to see, touch and feel of your spirit. Your immediate circle of admirers grows each day as loved ones come to pay homage to your struggle.
But on day 13, a simple catheterization from your leg to your heart, that should have taken a few hours, develops into an 8 hr. ordeal that causes your heart to stop yet one more time. The sorrow was evident on the Dr’s face as he delivers the dreary news. Your weakened heart needed to rest and you were placed on an ECMO machine that would work your heart and lungs so you could begin to heal. And still more set backs when the artery in you leg, that was used for the catheterization was damaged, then your kidney failed but still Jake, you decided to stay with us. Selfishly, no one has uttered the desire to see you let go.
For the next 6 days, you were connected to a never-ending maze of tubes and machines that incessantly blinked their lights and made insidious noises. Every minute with you is precious and dear as it is evident by the myriad of people who just want to come to your side and touch, kiss, caress and rub any spot on your body void of a tube or IV.
What was it that made you stay little Jake? What was it about you that brought family and friends together to grasp the essence of God and angels that surrounded you? What triumphant little spirit did you possess that made nurses take on extra shifts to be at your side and made grown parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins hold you in such high esteem? You were courageous beyond measure, you were brave beyond what was expected. You were a warrior in a battle you need not have fought. We are all extremely grateful for this experience though it was at your expense.
And so it was, on your last day of this earthly journey, we reluctantly readied ourselves to allow you to go home, home to your grandfather and great grandparents who had made this journey before you, home to your cousins and siblings who have not yet left. Home. Baby Jake, as you began that last surgery to prepare your heart to reaccept what the machines had been doing for you, your parents were informed by a grieving surgical team, that your brave fight was nearly over. Your last minutes on earth were in the precious hold of your loving parents whispering their good-byes but also within the presence of those on the other side who accepted you as you embarked on your next journey where the love will be as great but the struggle will be no more.
Joyous, Happy Journey Jake. Thank you for the nineteen days that were sadly counted in hours instead of years but still left us with an eternity of love for one small boy who brought us closer to our own journey home. We love you.
11 comments:
What a beautiful tribute to your little Jakey. I wasn't able to go to the funeral, but your family was in my thoughts and prayers throughout the whole day.
Thank you for posting this! I really LOVED this part of Jake's program. Love you guys!
Thank you for your blog. I am Rachelle's mother. You were blessed with a celestial child. Rachelle has an older brother who is a celestial child. He died before Rachelle could meet him...but she knows him because he is an important part of our family. Jake is an important part of yours. What a nice job your mother in-law did on his history...you have a special family and we love Aaron your brother. Our son that died was named Aarron. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Gary and Sharlene Merrill
YOu guys don't know me, but we share a common bond. My daughter, Trinity, passed away at 5.5 years from HLHS. She passed away 17 months ago (Sept. 16, 2007). When I saw your precious son on ECMO, I just cried...our daughter too died on the ECMO machine at Stanford children's. It was her 2nd time on ECMO. Her first time on ECMO was at 5 days old...and she survived through it...not sure how, but she did. My heart breaks for you...I know and understand your pain. I'm apart of the Angel Babies blog. Anytime you feel the need to talk to other mommies that understand your pain, come and vent to us.
Love always,
Melinda Adams
(Trinity's mommy)
www.trinadams.com
This was so beautiful to read. Thanks for continuing to share your story. You're in my prayers!
Liz,
I wanted to stop by and tell you how amazed I am at you and your families strength and how I would never wish heart ache on anyone I am slightly jealous that your family was the one Jake choose. Through your blog I can feel his sweet little spirit, a strong handsome boy and wish I would of had the opportunity to meet such a wonderful baby.
I can only imagine the grief you are experiencing right now and how hard church must have been but I feel the need to say that when I say you on Sunday, only a few minor days before was the funeral I was awe struck. Your example hit me like a ton of bricks. I am the first to admit I don't attend every sunday and far to often am looking for an excuse out. Seeing you and your family on Sunday made me open my eyes to my selfishness. Jake is an amazing boy who has had a tremendous impact on me. Thank you for sharing and I only hope your heart can heal in time.
Addie Gaylord
jealous may have been the wrong term. i simply mean that your family is so blessed to have such a choice spirit in your home.
I thought your mother in law did a fantastic job. thanks for sharing the journey of baby Jake through your blog. We love you guys!
kathleen and family
Thanks for posting this Liz! I thought Tyler's Mom did a fabulous job on this as well! Post as often as you want, the more the better I say! I miss being in the neighborhood and that great closeness we all share. Reading your daily blogs makes me feel like I'm at home again!
Carlene really did an amazing job presenting Jake's life moments. As I listened I couldn't help but think what a blessing to have someone tell his story in such a beautiful way.
Wow. That was amazing. Not much more can be said.
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